Indigent

I breathe You in, and breath You out.
You waft through me like fresh air.
You are balm that heals my wounds.
My wounds are of faithlessness – of not trusting enough.
I held on to hope. I guess that too was faith.
Now I know I have to let you go.
And that is also a task of faith.

Please help me.
For I am soiled with doubt.
I seek Your solace and strength.
The pain is doubt. A lack of faith.
I am wounded by faithlessness.
My pain is worry that You may forget me, that You may forsake me.
But how can You forsake me? How can You forget me?
For I am Your child.
Your precious child.
Who came into this world naked, indigent, speechless, mindless.

And here I am grown – strong, empowered.
As I mark the lives of others.
Yet, and yet… I  cannot alter my own.

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