Archive for the ‘self cohesion’ Category


While misery is a faithful companion, she will sap your energy, rob your pleasure, and diminish your presence of mind.

Attachment and letting go

Whoever said relationships are not easy was lying.

They are.  They should be. EASY.

It’s working on yourself that is hard.  It’s working on your own reactions and misdemeanors that is the biggest challenge.

How you judge how another person behaves, or whether or not that person conforms to your expectations is about YOU not about them.

The essential ingredient to all loving relationships is our capacity to stride the very delicate line between attachment and letting go.

Attachment is in essence, our neediness.

Lets face it, we are needy.

When it comes to wanting the feeling of being loved, approved of, cared for, needed, looked up to or whatever, it’s to relationships we turn.

The letting go part is about wanting what is best for the other person (and this does NOT contradict what is best for you in ANY way).

Letting go, is about releasing the expectations we carry that the other person is there for the sole purpose of fulfilling our needs.

It’s about a deep, deep knowing that it’s up to us to love, to give, to share what we can from a place of abundance, expecting nothing in return, except the gift of expansion.

Because when we love deeply, unconditionally, that is when the heart expands.  And when it expands, it opens to receiving.

It is when we cannot find it within ourselves to love this unconditional love – that is when we have to walk away.

Because that is what is best, for her, for him, for both.

Because every single one of us is lovable and loving. and if that was not the case, you would not find yourself mangled in an emotional knot, in the first place.

It is the love that brought you here.  Now the work is about knowing your own limitations, your own boundaries – your own neediness. And loving yourself despite these.

So when it comes to giving and taking, demands are just means of control.

Control is simply neediness manifested in bullying, rule-making, imposition of lines and borders.

Negotiation is a means by way of control, and power is bartered and allocated.

Love will die when the parties are in it for control.
It will strangle and suffocate.

In a situation of conflict, demands imposed and expectations strewn, ask yourself this:

What are my own expectations in this situation?  How do i want to control this interaction?
Breathe and release.  Breathe and release.

Be free to love. Be free to share. Be free to give. Be free to receive… and be patient.

Attachment and letting go

Attachment and letting go


Of all the places you could be in the world right at this moment, you ended up here.

Everything that has happened to you up til now has led you to this point, this very moment, for this very reason.

That does not mean that this moment will be the most momentous or life changing event you will ever experience, but it also does not mean that it will not.

Each moment set before you is your fate. And at that moment, you co-create your destiny.

The events of your life are like a movie directed by the Universe to offer you a very special, unique and personalized congregation of factors that make up this situation that stands before you. Now.

Take a moment and breathe.  As if from a distance – beyond time or matter –  bring your attention to this moment, right here where you stand and reflect on how you came to be here.  What brought you to THIS very moment in time?  That is fate.

And breathe out.

It is all as it is meant to be.

You are not alone.

Fate - photo by Haider Mirza

Fate - photo by Haider Mirza


I imagine a future, a vision, a sight.

And fill it with joy, peace and delight.

What are the quakes that sever the dots?

Greet the insecurity and loosen the knots.

If I don’t push so hard and hold on so tight

And trust that the Universe wont put up a fight,

I know not what is best, what is good and what is mine

For I know not all that is possible, the will of the Divine.

When I leave it Grace, to That, and to You

The mystery unfolds and blessings renew.

Niagara Mist - Photo by Haider Mirza

Niagara Mist - Photo by Haider Mirza